


“Thou shall mention thy husband at least once per television appearance”

by MidnightCity



Category: Top Gear (UK) RPF
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, wedding vows
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-08
Updated: 2015-10-08
Packaged: 2018-04-25 10:41:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4957207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MidnightCity/pseuds/MidnightCity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Neither Jeremy nor James seem to care a lot about their wedding vows ...</p>
            </blockquote>





	“Thou shall mention thy husband at least once per television appearance”

Over the years James had softened in a lot of aspects when it came to his relationship with Jeremy. He had softened in being cuddled, or cuddling him, how they appeared in public together (even before they had accidentally come out), their living spaces, eating less curry before bed and always because he wanted to. He had never thought that he'd soften to the idea of marriage. His issue was that he didn't need the state to make sure he'd stay together with the love of his life, so why bother?

However, when Jeremy had asked, James had replied _yes!_ without thinking. It was only logical: After Jeremy had pushed him out of the way of a lorry - breaking his hip and leg in the process but saving the rest of James' body - Jeremy had helped to put himself back together, and held him through every ever so painful night. James had promised to give him the rest of his life in return. 

Half a year later and with a shaking voice Jeremy had asked, “I don't want you to spend the rest of your life with me because I saved it. I want it because you want to be with me. So, will you marry me?“

* * *

 

“Come on, this is important!” Andy jumped out of his chair and began to pace the room.

“What for?” Jeremy replied lazily. James – who was sitting opposite – just nodded. They were in his house in Hammersmith. Years ago Jeremy had abandoned his flat and had moved in with James.

“They're your wedding vows!” Andy protested.

“Yeah, but we all know how it'll end,” Jeremy began to explain. “He'll say that _I am a bit of a cock but he still loves me_ ” James nodded. “And I'll say that his floral shirts don't annoy me as much as I thought they would. That's done then. We get pronounced husbands, shag on the loo, and get drunk.”

James nodded in agreement while Andy just rolled his eyes. He took a deep breath and sat back down.

“It's just a vow,” Jeremy added. “We don't need to script it perfectly. Doesn't bring bad luck.”

“Didn't do you much good the last two times,” Andy muttered before he thought any better of it.

James looked up, defending Jeremy. “That was low.” Especially since neither had been Jeremy's fault.

Andy nodded apologetic to Jeremy, who in return just shrugged his shoulders. After all he wasn't a man who needed to be touched with silk gloves.

“Also you can't say _cock_ in a public building,” Andy stated instead.

“But what if someone wants to eat a male chicken?” James asked.

Jeremy began to laugh and shook his head.

“Think twice before you make that joke, Clarkson!” Andy warned him sharply. He had known him far too long. “If you do that I will walk out, and you can plan all of this on your own!”

“All right, all right,” James tried to persuade him. “I can bring you a beer. I have found it makes Clarkson more bearable.”

“Funny.” Still Jeremy smiled at him while he got up to go to the kitchen. “But Andy, we have most of it already planned. The invitations are out, the hotels are booked, we know where we'll ...”

“Don't.”

“Kiss … where are you with your head again?” Jeremy asked innocently. “What flowers we want, we have our suits. We have a clerk to wed us, we have found a lovely house to wed in as neither of us is particularly religious nor can we marry in a church because we're a bit …”

“Queer,” James finished for him as he returned with the beer.

“Yes, that,” Jeremy continued talking. “We still have a week left. Until then we'll have figured out what to say.”

James sat down opposite of Jeremy, looking at the simple golden ring he loved. “What do you even put in a wedding vow?” he asked quietly.

Jeremy laughed because all this time and he hadn't even listened during their 'meetings'. Though it wasn't untypical of May. Meanwhile Andy was scolding him for his lack of attention.

“Love, it's simple,” Jeremy began to explain to stopped Andy fuming. “Just what you love about the other person, what you promise to do during the marriage and other rubbish.”

“Rubbish?” Andy wondered, finally at a total loss. He may need to smack them with a chair.

“Okay, I see.” James nodded, thinking for a moment. “Jezza, I shall buy you a pack of fags when I'm already in the store.”

“James, I shall endure your smelly farts when you eat curry.”

“I'll tolerate your bad taste in beer.”

“I'll tolerate your bad taste in everything.”

“Listen!” Andy cut in between. “If you don't get this done decently the clerk will not only pronounce you husbands but I will pronounce you idiots!”

“Fine.” Jeremy smiled to himself and began to talk in a soft voice. “James, I shall honour thy male chicken accordingly.”

“And I shall respect thy safeword when needed,” James added with a smug smile.

Andy just rolled his eyes. “I give up,” he complained. “You two don't take this seriously.”

“What?” Jeremy looked up when he saw that Andy had had enough for their cocking about. “We didn't even say the word _cock._ ” Though that wouldn't really stop Andy and so they watched as he stormed out of the living room. 

Soon they heard an engine start and its noise disappear. In response Jeremy just shrugged his shoulders, turned the television on and James rested his head on his shoulder …

 

* * *

 

 

Jeremy nervously shifted his weight when the clerk told them to exchange vows. They had prepared so little for the ordeal. They didn't even know which one should start. James was just chewing on his lips, so Jeremy chose to save him from the misery and took the initiative.

“Okay, well then ...” Jeremy began and cleared his throat. Not an hour ago he had been terrified by having to come up with a vow. In his dressing room he had walked up and down, in the hopes that he could come up with the perfect words. While he had begun to form sentences on how he'll honour James, and love him for eternity they all sounded so very wrong and fake …

“James … I may be a man of words – as you know – but I lack all of them when I have to talk,” Jeremy shifted his weight, he didn't dare to look at James directly. Instead he opted for a spot on his shoulder. “I could make you all of the promises in the world: that I shall mention you at least once when I appear on television, or to not hide your spanners. Or that I will finally hang up my jacket on the correct spot. Maybe I could even promise you that I'll learn to cook without setting the whole kitchen on fire. I could try, and most likely fail bitterly while doing so. Then we'll be homeless because I burnt the house down. So I won't promise you that. There is something I can promise you: I will always be honest and I will always honour, love and sometimes tolerate you to the best of my abilities. Always.”

Then he remembered when the call had come in: saying that his daughter couldn't make it. Her flight had been cancelled. Emily wouldn't be able to watch Jeremy marry the love of his life, which had hit harder than anything could have.

“When I broke down half an hour ago because my daughter couldn't come, I realized something ...” Jeremy went on, remembering how James had held him, had told him that everything would be all right, and they didn't have to do this. Not today. “... I don't only want to marry you because I want to stay with you for the rest of our lives. I also want to marry you so the whole world knows I want to be with you for my whole life.”

Jeremy shifted his weight, seeing that James tried to keep his composure. He knew how much James hated showing emotions in public.

“And because you're good in bed,” he added quickly, making the guests laugh and luckily James too.

Carefully he reached for James' cheek and wiped the single tear which had formed away. James smiled up at him, almost grateful.

The clerk turned to James, giving him the broad hint that it was his turn to speak his vow. However, James was still battling down emotions. He really hated getting emotional in public. Even if it was his own wedding.

James cleared his throat and shook his head. He looked up at Jeremy, seeing the clear blue eyes, the ones he loved so dearly. He loved looking at them, he loved all the emotions that lay hidden beneath them. He loved everything about Jeremy. Even the bad sides. They were there, they were accepted, but hating them would be like hating a part of himself. James couldn't do that. He also couldn't say any of that out loud. Instead he just stated, “You big old daft cock.”

Jeremy burst out laughing and rubbed the back of his neck. They could already feel Andy's eyes piercing them. The same way they did a week ago, they just couldn't care. Jeremy had difficulty expressing emotion in public, for James it was near impossible …

“That's it?” Jeremy simply asked him, watching quietly and wordlessly as more silent tears formed at the corner of James' eyes.

“Yeah.”

Then James felt Jeremy's hand in his, giving it a tight squeeze. He understood him, they had been together for far too long to not to.

The clerk went on, telling everyone about love and promise and the agreement that somehow those two men got themselves into. Neither seemed to pay any attention, James bit his lip and smiled up at Clarkson because it was easier than looking at the crowd. Jeremy just held his hand, knowing that James needed the small touch. Or maybe it was just Jeremy, who wanted the small touch.

“You may kiss your husband.” They heard the clerk announce.

Jeremy took a step forward and gently took James' cheek in his hand. At first it was a soft kiss, uncertain if James would want more at such an emotional time. Then he felt James' hands on his hips and he deepened the kiss.

They were lost in their little own little world, as they often were. They didn't notice the guests clapping. They also didn't notice when Andy actually pronounced them idiots as well. That was all right.

 

* * *

 

  
  


The party was in full swing. They had hired a DJ to play all the songs they liked and knew Hammond would hate. In their mind, this was perfect, a double win. James had quietly retreaded into a corner on a sofa. He was an introvert at heart. He loved people, he loved meeting new people, but given the whole day … it was getting to him.

“Hey.”

James turned his head, seeing his husband.

_Husband_ , mentally he rolled the word on his lips. They had been engaged for half a year and still he had hardly thought of Jeremy as such. Neither of them thought that their marriage would change much. Just that they would wear a wedding ring and carry the other's surname as well.

“Hey,” James replied quietly. “Am glad your daughter could make it to the party.”

“Me too.” Jeremy sat down and gently hugged him from behind. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” James muttered as he felt a Jeremy press his face into his shoulder. “Just … a lot happened.”

“I understand. I don't think I've ever been this … nervous before.”

“Hmm.”

For a while they stayed like this, just watching as the crowd got more drunk and danced.

“James?” Jeremy began mumbling.

“Hmm?”

“I know you're not a man prone to public outburst of emotions,” Jeremy began carefully. “But we're in relative private now ...”

James nodded and leaned against his broad chest.

“Did you prepare a vow?”

“I did,” James admitted quietly. It had been rehearsed, and thoroughly thought through during breakfast. At the moment when he would have needed to deliver it … he had realised how private it would have been, how much he would have exposed. He couldn't do it.

“Can I hear it now?” Jeremy's voice was quiet and low. He knew what he was asking of him.

James nodded. “Clarkson, I had promised you the rest of my life a year ago. I had been hurt, broken, and it had taken a lot to put it all back together. Still, you were there. That's always been the way with you. You were always there. This constant presence. Even when I tried to get rid of you, you didn't go away. I'm glad you didn't, because I don't even want you to.”

James felt Jeremy give him a slight squeeze.

“However, I didn't just give my life to you because you did all those things. I'm not sure when I did, it must have happened in all those years we've been together. This accident, it just made me realize that I had. I already promised you everything in the past. After all I eat less curry because of you.”

Jeremy laughed quietly and kissed James' cheek. “Am glad you do.”

“In addition to all the things I have promised you in the past, I can promise you this too: I will love you until we lie next to each other six feet under. Because you have become a part of me. I may not know when or exactly why. But not loving you would be stupid, idiotic and, yes, not even logical. So, I give you all that I am, and all that I have because you are part of who I am,” James finished quietly.

Jeremy didn't say anything for a while, James just heard a quiet sniffle from time to time.

“Did you get something in your eyes, Jezza?” James tried to lighten the mood.

“I did, Slow.”

James reached behind him and gently ran his hand through Jeremy's hair, while Jeremy just held onto him a little tighter.

“I love you, husband,” Jeremy muttered into his shoulder.

“I love you too, husband.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by a lovely conversation I had on twitter, and Jeremy's ability to mention James at least once per television appearance.


End file.
